Get ready….! WFTV is reporting that “1,406 new pages of discovery” were released this morning.
Update… Documents from the discovery release are slowly being posted to WFTV, among the documents is a single paged FBI report dated June 11, 2009. As a matter of course, the FBI will routinely ask witnesses to submit to a polygraph – it’s a method of gaining additional insight into the story of the crime they are piecing together, or so I’d surmise. Anyway, all the key witnesses involved: Amy Huizenga, Anthony Lazarro, Ricardo Morales, Jesse Grund, and Anthony Rusciano, agreed to the FBI polygraph. Who refused to work with FBI? Hmm. You guessed it! George, Cindy, and Lee.
Here’s a link to the FBI pdf file (document), from the WFTV site: http://www.wftv.com/pdf/20224751/detail.html
Apparently, there is no video or audio files included with this release, only paper-based reports. According to the Orlando Sentinel www.orlandosentinel.com among the documents released will be Jesse Grunds’ employment records with the Orlando PD. (Can’t we leave Jesse – the poor guy – alone now? He’s been victimized enough.)
Additional information, according to the Orlando Sentinel, will include police reports related to the search for Caylee, transcripts of George and Cindy Anthony interviews (the audio has previously been released, these are the transcripts – old material.)
Meanwhile, Lee Anthony is being interviewed by the State Attorney’s office today. Lee Anthony’s attorney, Tom Luka, promised to provide a statement to the press once the depo has concluded….. Huh? Do we really care?
We can do no great things, only small things with great love. Mother Teresa
When justice, at long last, is served, the world begins to look a lot brighter for those who suffered harm.
To all my new friends – kindred in thier suffering; wishing you peace, love, and continued kindness and joy.
If some one asked me: “What makes you the happiest?” I would reply: “being with friends, seeing and laughing with everyone in my family, baby sitting my niece, blogging, teaching and developing instruction (my job), taking classes, allowing my dog to lick my face and my fingers after I’ve eaten a bagel smothered with butter, drinking a cold beer on a hot Saturday evening with a friend, going to the grocery store and not worrying about the price of a steak, seeing really good theatre, hearing good music, going to the ballet, seeing a good movie, feeling the sunshine and a cool breeze simultaneously.
New projects and new opportunities for growth and friendship also make me happy.
When I am overwhelmed with life, or when I can’t seem to make time to slow down and breathe and do those things that I love the most…then, I just sit on my porch, look at the water, watch my dog salivate over the birds in the yard, breathe in and breath out and think about what I want to write next… Kind of simple, really. Hard part is just making the time to sit still….
Okay, all together now…. breathe in, breathe out….breathe in…breathe oooouuuutttttttt…..Ahh! Just let go and let love!!!
In an effort to frame past experiences, learn from them, and grow as a result, I am coming back to this topic to further reflect upon my original thoughts regarding the meaning of hypocrisy.
It would not be honest of me to claim to have never acted/reacted to situations negatively or disingenuously. I think that many of us – on our path to self actualization, or fulfillment, or enlightenment, or whatever name(s) you want to apply to becoming a more whole and loving person – we all struggle. But, I am learning now that when I recognize my previous attraction to negativity – when I have an attack of inner hypocrisy – when I see it for what it is, I am better able to stop it in its tracks. Awareness is key.
The secret, I believe, is after someone has hurt or disappointed you – look at it, hold it, examine it, see how it hurts, get angry if you have to, cry if you have to, but then move on without blame or loathing. What is key here is that you cannot move on until you forgive yourself, and then, most importantly, you must forgive whomever you have allowed to hurt you. (No one can really hurt us unless we allow it.)
This is what I am learning, anyway, as I continue to reflect and apply critical thinking to my reactions to others in my environment.
It is not fair or just to judge others; there is not a single one of us on this earth perfect enough to not have experienced thoughts that were hypocritical at one time or another in our life. The big difference, however, has to do with seeing and correcting yourself should a tendency for harsh or judgmental responses start to creep into your daily dialogue.
It is so much more healthy to be tolerant, kind and accepting of other’s foibles and “dramas” especially when we remember that we are all only human! However, when hypocrisy gets to a point that is cruel, devious, or harmful, then it is imperative to move to a different landscape, away from that negative element, away from those in your life who engage in those behaviors. Negativity harms both our bodies and our spirits.
I am learning to trust myself and allow myself more time to make careful and loving assessments about others. Not to judge harshly, rather to look at behavior and actions, especially as to how people in my circle of trust treat others. Despite how dearly I have loved a friend in the past – if their deeds, words or responses to others are in a critical or negative vein versus being on the side of acceptance or reaching out with a positive, gentle, non-discriminatory and compassionate ways, then I must step back and ask myself what is the purpose of that game? What will come of demeaning other people? For what purpose? What does it do for us in the end – what do we learn by endlessly criticizing others? Well, I have the answer now. Nothing will come of it but bitterness. Nothing is gained from it, we learn only to become angry critics of life when we succumb to that. An angry critic is surely not a hat that I want to wear – not a place where I’d like to be!
The path that is gentle, that loves, that is accepting, and that will somehow promote continous learning, growth, and improvement whether by serving others, or simply by spreading kindnesses every which way – like how a cool breeze on a hot summers day delights expansively those in its path. It’s nice to be in the path of a cool breeze.
In my little corner of the world, I know that the path I am on is a cool, gentle, and good one.
My heart is intact. I hope yours continues to be, too.
Love & peace.
For what is real and true look at these stones, this bread, the spring of water, those sea waves, this horizon with its pure untroubled line. Only perceive purely and the spiritual and the material world vibrate as one. The power that saves is infinitely simple and infinitely close at hand. (Iris Murdoch)
Wallace Stevens (1879-1955), poet, playwright, and essayist; business man and Lawyer, was a terrific American writer. In his popular poem, “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird” so much is revealed about how we question our own spirituality, the meaning of our own life’s path to enlightenment, and asks us to look at our demons – to start to pick away at how we frame things until gratitude’s light comes peeking through.
“Blackbird” informs us about being grateful for the cracks in things, in people, and in life, as through these bothersome cracks, light is revealed, hence more clarity, realization, appreciation.
My favorite verse of “Blackbird” follows:
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after.
This verse speaks so well of gratitude for all things that life offers – all moments and experiences – no matter how perplexing, they are gifts… well, if not seen in the moment as a gift, then surely afterwards – when we are open – the gift comes in.
The full poem is very interesting and revealing – it may shatter your thinking about how you look at things, people, events…
Love and peace…..
Hypocrisy: like the scraping fingernails of 18 second graders, in unison, on a blackboard in early morning
In an effort to understand it, I have been reading and studying why people change with the wind, lie because it’s easy, manipulate facts they know are false simply because they enjoy drama, or gossip.
Is it for the thrill of putting on a multi-colored, but paper thin, coat of bravura? It seems to me to be like an egomaniacal strutting – puffing up and preening for others, on a stage without foundation, in a never-ending world of make-believe.
Is it a need for escaping and lying for the sake of drama – for the daring feel of the “game”? And it is a game. When I have looked back at former friends who were just pure dissemblers, I see it was all really just sport for them – a game with one winner – themselves.
This is what I need to explore and write about next.
Why have I (hopefully now forever in the past) attracted friends with these traits? And why does it take me too long to recognize it? Why do some people choose to abandon truth, or create facades – complete falsities? Why is hypocrisy also cloaked in feigned pretension, and extra-loud agression, that I should be able to recognize, but so often miss?
I don’t have these answers yet. Until I do, I will leave you with this:
Hypocrisy, the lie, is the true sister of evil, intolerance, and cruelty. (Raisa Gorbachev)
What makes it so plausible to assume that hypocrisy is the vice of vices is that integrity can indeed exist under the cover of all other vices except this one. Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil; but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core. (Hannah Arendt)
More to come on this preplexing topic.
I have a “chat room” on this blog so you can use all the nifty shortcuts you want and people will actually understand what you mean LOL (Laughing Out Loud)! Chatting on the Internet, oops, I mean “Internet’s”….. Oh? You didn’t know Internet is actually plural? NP (No Problem) Yes, as a matter of fact, this is now true. It’s “Internets” Yes. Plural. Ahhhh. You didn’t know this? NP I’ll explain.
According to our esteemed former President…our-in-there-for-eight-painful-years- hiding-in-the-Bushes-taking-away-our-liberties-President! Him. “That one.” LMAO (Laughing My Ass Off) Lest you forget this very famous one…. He said this in one of his early debates: “I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.” OMG (Oh My God). The fact is, if this were not so sad, it might be kind of funny.
Okay, okay, this is definitely off-topic…
So, don’t get me started with Bushism’s because this post will never get written LOL! Oh damn. WTF (What the F*ck), here’s just one more goodie and it is rather on point here, IMO (In My Opinion) aligned with all the shorthand language on the “Internets” these days. This is a GR8 (Great) one. Remember this: “Is our children learning?” ROFLMAO (Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off)
Well, Mr. President…. Sorry, nope our childrens isn’t learning because you left them behind, big time! W/E (What Ever)
How about this classic: “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” WSTS (Weeping Silently To Self)
Okay, one more…. He also said…”Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” GMAB (Give Me A Break).
You know what? I’m too depressed now to write any more about chat room shorthand…. %&##!%*@##
WTF – Have fun chatting and HB (Hurry Back).
I have come to realize that there are some people so angry with life that the idea of embracing even the concept of forgiveness would be akin to a two year old learning to speak Latin. In fact, “Desiderata” is Latin and means “desired things” …. Max Ehrmann wrote this as his ode, his “desiderata for achieving happiness” in the mid 1920’s; it will speak to us perennially, or so it should.
The “Desiderata of Happiness” makes a perfect case for forgiveness, for kindness, honesty, and certainly for acceptance. It says so much about the need for dreams, aspirations, and a peaceful heart…. This excerpt, these few lines, have special meaning in this discussion:
“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story….. if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And, whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
I secretly hope that you, reader of this blog who may be so stuck in your ways, immoveable or unwilling to accept an apology from someone who has broken your heart – I hope that you will read this and at least remember that we are all only human, after all. We are all we have – we only have one another; we only have forgiveness, or so it seems to me.
I spoke honestly to a friend recently and was shunned, dropped and stepped on. My “friend” of course, was never really a friend, I know that now, but she wore the cloak of kindness for a time. In reality, I was being used and the friendship was merely a mirage on top of a façade, to be conjured up when convenient, dismissed conveniently, too.
After begging for forgiveness, though I had nothing to apologize for, and being rebuked over and over, I finally began to see, finally, clearly, with the left side of my brain, that though I was placing the blame on myself out of desperation to win back a friendship (which was really never a friendship to begin with), it was nothing I did or said. And then, I looked at myself and saw something I didn’t much like….I began to see my desperation for acceptance. Almost a fervent yearning to continue to believe in a friendship that never was.
It is just a terrible way to feel… It feels demeaning to beg for forgiveness simply because I didn’t quite know what else to do or say.
I was not being honest with myself, that became finally clear.
I am grateful for this experience now because it has shown me that I need a little retuning in the self esteem / self worth arena… a realignment! Gravitating toward positive and loving people is much more fun, anyway! People that know how to shower kindness just because they embody it. Now, that’s good for the soul.
I will let this teacher – this experience – move out from under that corner of dread in my waking hours now. (Thank you, my dear friend Michelle, for always reminding me of this: “when the student learns his lesson, the teacher disappears” ….)
Michelle also tells me at every turn that we must choose gratitude and happiness. She says: “Nature never reveals its secrets, it just responds to methods of questioning.”
Nature did not automatically reveal its secrets to me…. But, I am now questioning and the answers are moving into focus, thanks to wise friends like Michelle.
For a full read of Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata” just Google the title, or click here: http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm
I have to do it. Lillian Hellman, my girl “Lilly” is the last of this kitty-pack…. she’s is the final one. There was Tallulah Bankhead (Lulu), and Dashiel Hammitt (Dash)….they’re gone, too. Poor Lilly, but poorer me as I don’t have the heart to let her go, though I know the best thing I can do for her is to let her go… to drift off peacefully and end her pain.
She is in pain – it came on all of a sudden. She’s always had a loud meow… but now, well, she cries so loudly the neighbors look sideways at me when I see them. They hear her, too. And they seem to understand, but they don’t really. If you have had a cat for eighteen years, you’d understand, too, I think.
It has been eighteen years. Tallulah lasted over twenty years, maybe because she was more a dog than an ordinary cat. She was the smartest cat I’d ever met. Tallulah opened doors, drawers, found ways to climb and snuggle in blankets even though they were tucked away on the highest shelf in a back closet.
Lilly, though beautiful, is not so smart… she’s feisty and oh so sassy, just like Lillian Hellman seemed to be … But Lilly? Just always has been missing a beat… a teeny bit off kilter she’s always been. She could be in a box with just her kitty litter, nothing else around, and she’d still miss the mark! Yup, Lilly has never been too smart.
But, she’s very, very sweet. Too sweet to let her continue on in pain.
This is very hard. Looking for the gratitude in this….
This is one of my favorite poems about gratitude. It was written in 1513 by the poet Fra Giovanni, and it is called…
Letter to a Friend
I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got, but there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take.
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven!
No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!
The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach is joy. There is radiance and glory in the darkness could we but see – and to see we have only to look. I beseech you to look!
Life is so generous a giver, but we, judging its gifts by the covering, cast them away as ugly, or heavy or hard. Remove the covering and you will find beneath it a living splendor, woven of love, by wisdom, with power.
Welcome it, grasp it, touch the angel’s hand that brings it to you. Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me, that angel’s hand is there, the gift is there, and the wonder of an overshadowing presence. Our joys, too, be not content with them as joys. They, too, conceal diviner gifts.
Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty – beneath its covering – that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven.
Courage, then, to claim it, that is all. But courage you have, and the knowledge that we are all pilgrims together, wending through unknown country, home.
And so, at this time, I greet you. Not quite as the world sends greetings, but with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you now and forever, the day breaks, and the shadows flee away.
I am searching and reading and thinking about what it really means to have a heart full of gratitude (to gently carry my yesterdays and boundlessly fuel my tommorows), and I found this lovely poem/reminder that I want to share.
Despite all the unrest in the world, the Bush-Cheney’s and other criminal politicians; the heartless dream-rapers like Madoff, Kenneth Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, and others who steal us blind, these simple and profound words of gratitude may offer some bit of solace…..
The below is from a posting on a website called: “World Gratitude” http://www.worldgratitude.com/
Think Over Again My Small Adventures
I think over again my small adventures,
Those small ones that seemed so big,
For all the vital things
I had to get and to reach;
And yet there is only one great thing,
The only thing,
To live to see the great day that dawns
And the light that fills the world.
(Anonymous ~ North American Indian; 19th Century)
I have to believe that when we have gratitude ~ especially after the fact and despite horrible deeds, tasks, or blights that happen in our world to the most innocent among us ~ there is a chance for change and learning. With learning, there should be an ability to move beyond, to change, and not repeat mistakes of the past, i.e. to permanently change. Yes?
No? Ahh… ’tis just my rose-colored-glasses view of the world…
But, I can dream, can’t I?
Love and Peace,