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My 18 year old cat, Lilly…(aptly named after Lillian Hellman)



I have to do it.  Lillian Hellman, my girl “Lilly” is the last of this kitty-pack…. she’s is the final one.  There was Tallulah Bankhead (Lulu), and Dashiel Hammitt (Dash)….they’re gone, too.  Poor Lilly, but poorer me as I don’t have the heart to let her go, though I know the best thing I can do for her is to let her go… to drift off peacefully and end her pain.   

She is in pain – it came on all of a sudden.  She’s always had a loud meow… but now, well, she cries so loudly the neighbors look sideways at me when I see them.  They hear her, too.  And they seem to understand, but they don’t really. If you have had a cat for eighteen years, you’d understand, too, I think.   

It has been eighteen years.  Tallulah lasted over twenty years, maybe because she was more a dog than an ordinary cat.  She was the smartest cat I’d ever met.  Tallulah opened doors, drawers, found ways to climb and snuggle in blankets even though they were tucked away on the highest shelf in a back closet. 

Lilly, though beautiful, is not so smart… she’s feisty and oh so sassy, just like Lillian Hellman seemed to be … But Lilly?  Just always has been missing a beat… a teeny bit off kilter she’s always been.  She could be in a box with just her kitty litter, nothing else around, and she’d still miss the mark!   Yup, Lilly has never been too smart. 

But, she’s very, very sweet.  Too sweet to let her continue on in pain. 

This is very hard.  Looking for the gratitude in this….


Gratitude some more….

This is one of my favorite poems about gratitude.  It was written in 1513 by the poet Fra Giovanni, and it is called…

Letter to a Friend

I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got, but there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take.

No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven!

No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!

The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach is joy. There is radiance and glory in the darkness could we but see – and to see we have only to look. I beseech you to look!

Life is so generous a giver, but we, judging its gifts by the covering, cast them away as ugly, or heavy or hard. Remove the covering and you will find beneath it a living splendor, woven of love, by wisdom, with power.

Welcome it, grasp it, touch the angel’s hand that brings it to you. Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me, that angel’s hand is there, the gift is there, and the wonder of an overshadowing presence. Our joys, too, be not content with them as joys. They, too, conceal diviner gifts.

Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty – beneath its covering – that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven.

Courage, then, to claim it, that is all. But courage you have, and the knowledge that we are all pilgrims together, wending through unknown country, home.

And so, at this time, I greet you. Not quite as the world sends greetings, but with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you now and forever, the day breaks, and the shadows flee away.


Gratitude and my rose-colored view of the world…

I am searching and reading and thinking about what it really means to have a heart full of gratitude (to gently carry my yesterdays and boundlessly fuel my tommorows), and I found this lovely poem/reminder that I want to share. 

Despite all the unrest in the world, the Bush-Cheney’s and other criminal politicians; the heartless dream-rapers like Madoff, Kenneth Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, and others who steal us blind, these simple and profound words of gratitude may offer some bit of solace…..

The below is from a posting on a website called: “World Gratitude” 

 Think Over Again My Small Adventures

I think over again my small adventures,
My fears,
Those small ones that seemed so big,
For all the vital things
I had to get and to reach;
And yet there is only one great thing,
The only thing,
To live to see the great day that dawns
And the light that fills the world.

(Anonymous ~ North American Indian; 19th Century)

I have to believe that when we have gratitude ~ especially after the fact and despite horrible deeds, tasks, or blights that happen in our world to the most innocent among us ~ there is a chance for change and learning.  With learning, there should be an ability to move beyond, to change, and not repeat mistakes of the past, i.e.  to permanently change.  Yes?  

No?  Ahh… ’tis just my rose-colored-glasses view of the world…

But, I can dream, can’t I?

Love and Peace,


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