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November 30, 2010

12

creepy bullies – oh, they byte!

by Andrea O'Connell

It was in June of 2009 that I experienced, for the first time, what it was like to sort of slip, without realizing it, into a Matrix-like, other worldly third dimension replete with bullies, bullets and bytes that pierced my unsuspecting soul.

When I was under attack, it felt like I was plummeting down that proverbial rabbit hole.  A rabbit hole without a bottom.  Spinning and spinning and reeling from these written attacks via email and in a chatroom about the Casey Anthony case.

My bullies were a group of women who I didn’t know, but who I chatted with on the Internet about the Casey Anthony case.  They grew slowly to be so vile and ugly.  So devious and prank-ish with a clear intent to hurt me – actual death threats against me and others – using childish pranks and curse words the likes of which you just don’t hear in polite society.

And now, over a year later, they are back taunting me again.

They’ve been emailing me threats, posting cruel and viscous taunts here on my blog.  It’s so startling to see; so ugly, so utterly without grace that they do this.  I find it difficult to grasp how they live with themselves.

I wrote a story about my experience with these bullies in a posting in 2009. For a bit of history on this story, please read my post titled “This my friends is no game, this is cyber-terrorism.”

In that story, I referred to them as “Judge and Jury.”   Their first names (I think) are Debbie and Trish.  And, sadly, they have a new devotee bully named Marie.  Marie was once a target of theirs.  They attacked her with such a vengeance once upon a time.  But clearly she’s forgotten that now.  Now, Marie has joined their platoon and is a fierce bullier herself.  She is just as cruel and vile as they are, if not more so.

These particular bullies have threatened that if I so much as DARE to mention them again here on this blog, they will retaliate against me and cause me so much harm that I won’t know what hit me.  Hah! I am not in the least bit scared of these blowhards.

Yes, these woman who have called me names, have written vile hyperbole on my blog, which I won’t repeat here – gutter talk that only people without consciousness would write….  These women call themselves “well adjusted!”   Now, I thought that was actually quite funny!  Between the threats, the sophomoric curse words, and the taunts, one bully told me how well adjusted she was!  Isn’t it rich?

But, seriously, they are cruel.  Demeaning me for having an education (they have none); calling me a stupid a__wipe.  Discussing the fact that because I have never married, I am a sick Lesbian (I am not – but I am single), a spinster who should join a lonely hearts club.  They claim I am psychotic and they have decided my mother did a piss-poor job raising me.  Oh there’s more gross talk; it’s just too ugly to repeat.

A Definition of Cyberbullying

So how do people cyber-bully?  In this digital age, it is easy to get your hands on the tools of the trade.  The venues include: Internet chat, Internet sites like MySpace or Facebook, text messaging or any type of technology to deliberately demean, harass, frighten or threaten harm to another person.  The reason it’s so insidious is due to it being anonymous.

The Cyberbully Personality

Bully’s believe that because they sit behind a computer monitor they are safe and can spew as much hate as they can muster.  Cyberbullies seek out prey that appear weak or vulnerable to them.

The most bizarre thing about most cyberbullies, they will turn off their computers and turn into normal people who go about their business without a care in the world.

Cyberbullies come in all shapes and sizes.  They are young, old, educated, uneducated, smart and bold.  They are out there and they are dangerous, especially to young people.

Recent cases in the news

You may remember the recent cyberbullying incident at Rutgers University in which a student committed suicide after classmates supposedly filmed him engaging in a gay sexual activity.  A bright eyed, intelligent Tyler Clementi jumped off the George Washington bridge as a result of the taunts and the pressure that these bullies imposed.

And there’s the case of Megan Meier, the pretty young Missouri teen who chatted via the internet with a mother of one of her friends, all the while thinking it was a boy she adored.  When the “boy” turned on her, Megan, so distraught, killed herself.

Sadly, there are hundreds of stories out there about teen suicides resulting from both bullying and cyberbullying.  It is a serious, serious problem.

And, it’s a tough crime to solve.  Slick, Internet savvy bully’s can hide their identity with no problem.  But, here on WordPress, it’s not so easy for the bully.

WordPress captures the I.P. Address of the poster.  The I.P. address is your internet fingerprint, traceable back to you.  Now, it’s not that easy, mind you, and it’s very expensive to trace an I.P. address, but I’m told that lawyers, FBI and local police have a way of connecting an I.P. address to an individual.

I do take some comfort in knowing that I need only to bring these posts and I.P. addresses to the authorities, if needed.

I will do it, too.  That’s not a threat either. It’s just a promise I’ve made to myself.

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12 Comments Post a comment
  1. Sherry
    Dec 1 2010

    Yep! Ya gotta have that pitbull mentality, like John in Florida has. Please take him up on his offer and give him those IP addresses. There is strength in numbers even if it be a few!

    Reading your other article and this one, these two bullies sound so familiar. Fortunately, I didn’t have any problems at my blog but I saw what was happening to my blog owner friends and didn’t like it. They have received the same threats, too.

    They have a bad case of arrested development. I will say that I knew of a cyberbully who happened to be the child of a real estate agent going around the blogs using his mother’s name. He damn near ruined her reputation!

    Anyhoo, you are above them and their childish behavior. Like halfpint said-don’t let it take up space in your mind. FYI, I used to take the few bullies’ comments and replace them with the words “I’m an idiot” and let the comments through. I’d let them sit for a day then delete them-it was my way of getting some sane satisfaction of justice my way. But I also tend to pray for my enemies because they need help in the higher kind of way-a change of heart!

    One more note: I think it is awful that calling someone gay or lesbian is considered an insult by these dimwits. 🙄

    Reply
    • Andrea
      Dec 1 2010

      Hey Sherry.
      Yes, I find the Lesbian attack is particularly sick. To think they would attack me on the basis of that says a lot about their ignorance.

      John in Florida was a big help to me before, but I didn’t follow through because of the cost involved in tracking these morons down. I am hoping they’ll just leave me alone after a while, though I know they’re always watching a stalking…. that’s what is so creepy.

      Anyway, thanks so much for your comments…. I love your idea of “I am an Idiot!” That is PERFECT! I will certainly keep that in mind!

      Reply
  2. Dec 1 2010

    And to think… I was called a disgusting gay by a disgusting gay man and his angry friends. The lies are incredible! I don’t know what drives people to such despicable ends, but they must live horrible lives. They implored me to jump off the courthouse roof and continually attack innocent people who comment on my blog, publishing as much personal information on them as they can, including death records, in order to scare them away. Believe me, I know about it all.

    Reply
    • Andrea
      Dec 1 2010

      Oh, I know, Dave. If anyone has lived through the worst, it’s been you. I feel so badly about what you have gone through…it’s beyond sick. It’s like these people live in another state of consciousness, or something…. it’s criminal, really, and as we have difficulty grasping the full import of the criminal mind, so do we these freaks.

      By the way, Dave. These bullies have told me they will contact you and Snoopy to try to harm me. They threaten to tell you how evil I am. That was one of their threats that I found really disgusting. Their attempt to try to demean me by hurting my reputation with you and Snoopy.

      So foolish!

      Reply
  3. Dec 1 2010

    Andrea~~I never realized until last nite when I read your post and clicked on the link and read what the cyber bullies did to you and are now back at it.

    Welcome to the Celebrity bloggers! If you were just a nobody, they wouldn’t give you the time of day so consider yourself a somebody who they are jealous of.

    Their goal is to try and bring you down to their level. They are typically uneducated and unhappy individuals. A mentally stable and happy person would never do the things they do. You have to have love and goodness on the inside before you can emote it to your fellow man. They lack that quality.

    They want to taunt you to the extent, you will react. In that way, they get attention because no one else gives them the time of day because of their attitude.

    They will say they want to see you dead but do not believe it. They want you very much alive because, with you out of the picture, they cannot continue to torture you. They will keep striking at you and stoop lower and lower to try and break you. It is their sick tactics that they use in their cyber bullying war games.

    I am going to go into all the things that cyber bullies have done to me as it would just feed their egos. My only advice , Andrea, is to hang tough. You are the better person and don’t forget that for a minute. Just keep doing what you do best. I have read your articles and you excel in writing. Judging my your comments and fortitude, they cannot defeat you so you will end up the winner. Let the losers wallow in their self-pity. Maybe they will reach a breaking point and go for therapy and try to salvage their wasted lives because all the time they continue, they are just empty shells with major mental problems.

    Good luck and God Bless,

    Snoopy

    PS, if any of them contact me, it will be a grave mistake on their part.

    Reply
    • Andrea
      Dec 1 2010

      Thank you so much for your thoughts, compassion and advice, Snoopy. I cannot tell you how much that means to me. 🙂

      Yes, those who will cyberbully are really pitiful in that they wear their ignorance as a badge of honor, though the rest of us see them for who they really are: sick and demented, delighting in cruel behavior toward fellow human beings, they think they are so clever and cunning!

      And yes, knowing as they do how fond I am of you and Dave, they threaten to write to you both to demean me in your eyes. I thought that was particularly cruel.

      I wouldn’t be writing about this episode at all, but they dared me to post something. Threatened me by saying that if I should dare to write about the experience, they would be after me – do something to get back at me (i.e. calling or writing my family, creating a blog about me, telling you and Dave how pitiful I am, etc.)

      So, I thought, well I could sit back and allow them to harass me and just “take it” from them, or I could tell the story on my blog and try to teach them a lesson.

      Honestly, I’d prefer to write about something other than this, but this is an object lesson, in a sense, and one that I feel I have to talk about.

      I just hope they will QUIT this… I do not enjoy this disruption, the cruel and heartless things they send me are horrible. I have blocked them here, blocked them on my email, too, so we’ll see what they will do now to get to me.

      God willing, this public discussion will stop them in their tracks so they can just fade off into the sunset. Man, I hope so!

      Thanks again, dear Snoopy.

      Reply
  4. Dec 1 2010

    *typo I am *NOT going to go into …

    Reply
  5. Rob
    Dec 1 2010

    Andrea, As I was reading your post about these bullies. My common sense kept asking….Why? Why would anyone want to engage in such senseless activity? You seem like such a genteel person. I think. Snoopy is correct. They are jealous of the fact that you have a successful blog. I know Dave, and Snoopy had the same problem. Here we are discussing a murder case, and the sad loss of a beautiful child. A mother who is accused of killing her child, and these people have nothing better to do than try to intimidate the person who gives us a chance to discuss the case. I believe these people have no conscience and may be dangerous. Word Press should find them and make them pay the consequences for their actions. Please don’t let them stop you from writing your blog.

    Reply
    • Andrea
      Dec 1 2010

      p.s. Rob, I won’t give up my blog! I worked too hard to let it go… 🙂

      Reply
  6. Andrea
    Dec 1 2010

    Hey Rob, Thanks so much for your comments. I don’t understand what prompts such vitriol from folks like this either. To use words like they use and spew such hate is beyond my understanding… it’s also beyond hurtful – at first it was, then after a while I kind of become immune to it, and I think, well there they go again! They just can’t let it go… They love to jump out of the woodwork, like termites, and bite and bite.

    They truly hate me, though. And it is because I saw all the deplorable hate they were writing about me and others in a Chatroom (on Chatroll). The owners of Chatroll were contacted (it wasn’t even me who contacted them!) and were told of how deviant they were. So, when the owners of Chatroll saw what they were writing – the threats and the hate, well they shut down their chatroom(s) to stop the hate.

    I was the one who originally complained about them; they had been stalking my blog (I could tell because their chatroom URL was what they used to get into my blog), and when I followed their URL from my blog, I saw the hate and the sickness they were spewing in Chatroll about me and others.

    That’s why they hate me and wish to do me harm. That, and they think I’m a Lesbian. They are homophobic on top of being sick. They taunt me because I’ve never been married – they are certain it’s due to my being either a Lesbian, or just too “sick for any man to want me”.

    So… well, it’s ugly.

    I know they are reading this. I only hope this is an object lesson and they learn peace and kindness and tolerance.

    We can hope!

    Reply
  7. cali patti
    Dec 10 2010

    Thank you for your being out there with Dave and Snoopy. There are those of us that are not mental giants yet truly appreciate those that are. I enjoy reading about most subjects and thoughts of others.

    If the bullies won and the ‘thinkers’ went away all I would have left is them.
    What a horrible world that would be for people like me.
    That is why in my minimal way I try to support you ‘thinkers.’

    Reply
    • Dec 11 2010

      Hi Cali Patti,

      Thank you for your comments. 🙂 It sounds to me that you are a very fine “thinker” too!

      I do feel for Dave and Snoopy. They are both very fine writers and bloggers. It really makes no sense why people will work so diligently on bullying others – spreading hate and vile suggestions – when they should know that Karma is stronger then all of us and their hateful intentions will come back to them sooner or later.

      I am just left to think that perhaps it’s just ignorance that drives these people. What in the world did Dave, or Snoopy ever do to these people who harass them? For goodness sakes, they’ve never even met these people!

      Thank you again, Cali Patti!

      Reply

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