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breaking news! bombshell future transcript!

Just yesterday we got wind of how the defense team, in the case against Casey Anthony, is going to position its theory regarding how Caylee Marie Anthony died.

In short, the defense is flat out denying Caylee’s death was a homicide.

It’s true.

We saw the report of a defense medical examiner who will testify that there was no scientific evidence that Caylee died at the hands of another.

Many of us are troubled by this. It’s nonsensical and maddening, to say the least.   However, here’s the good news!  I was able to steal obtain part of the transcript from Dr. Wacklo Pits’ upcoming trial testimony!  Thank goodness, I was able to grab this transcript from the future because Dr. Wacklo P. seems pretty lame when the State has it’s turn to cross examine. Not such a formidable witness!

Here is the testimony of the good doctor, as seen in the future:

State:   Dr. Pits, you wrote there was no scientific proof that Caylee died at the hands of another, right?”

Pits:      Uh, that’s what I, uh, wrote. Yes.

State:   Explain to the jury then, Dr. Tips, how did Caylee end up in a garbage bag, duct-taped, and tossed like trash in the woods?

Pits:     Uh, my name is Dr. Pits. I will explain to the jury that I wouldn’t have an answer to that.  There is no scientific proof that anyone’s hands were on that child to cause her death.

State:   Dr. Peps, are you telling this jury that you cannot determine if Caylee died at the hands of another?

Pits:     Yes. You see, there is no scientific proof that anyone’s hands were on that child to cause her death.  And it’s Pits.

State:  Dr. Spits, you would agree, would you not, that someone’s hands put the child in a bag, with duct tape attached to her mouth and nose area?

Pits:     It’s Pits.  And, no.  I would not agree with that.  As I said before, there is no scientific proof that the child died at the hands of another.

State:  Dr. Stips, did the child put herself in the bag?

Pits:    Ah.  Pits.  No.  I would have to conclude no, she did not. There is no scientific evidence that the child died by her own hands.

State:  Therefore, Dr. Step, if there were no hands involved, are you saying the child died naturally?

Pits:     It’s Pits. And, possibly, but there is no scientific ev….

State: …idence that the child died naturally!  Yes, you keep saying that, Dr.  Pops!

Pits:    Precisely. Then you agree.

State:  NO!

Pits:    Pits.

State:  (angry) If it were your child wouldn’t you conclude some set of hands killed her?  Are you a freaking father Dr. Pepper?

Baez:   Objection!  Relevance

Judge:  State’s reply?

State:    I know!  It’s Pits.  I’ll restate Judge.

Judge:   Proceed.

State:   You arrogant, self-centered monster, are you saying someone with no hands bagged this child and tossed her in the woods?

Pits:     There is no scientific….

State:  SHUT UP!


Judge: Over ruled.

State:  You’re making me mad, Dr. Spite.

Pits:   It’s Dr. Sips, I mean, it’s Dr. Spit, er, Stips, I MEAN, my NAME is Dr. Pist!!!

State: That’s what I thought, thank you.

Pits:   NO!  (crying) I mean….!!!

State: No further questions for Dr. Pist your honor.

Pits:   (really sobbing now) My (sob)  name (sob)  is (sob)  NOT PIST!

Judge: Redirect Mr. Bozo?

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