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July 16, 2011

15

good-bye casey

by Andrea O'Connell

Casey Anthony will be a free woman in a few hours, in less than a day.

After being reviled, attacked, practically ripped apart physically while out on bond; having spent over three years in confinement – solitary confinement, she has survived.

I would go so far as to say, she has to be a pretty strong individual to have withstood all of what she’s gone through.

I don’t know if I could have stayed as resolute as Casey has in the face of such public scrutiny.  She has not moved from the one big lie about what happened to Caylee.  She denied, denied and denied it all until Jose Baez told us that Caylee’s death was a drowning accident, the result of which snowballed out of control.

Of course no one believes that – correction, the jury believed it. But, that’s another story for another day.

I could not possibly know what it must feel like to be in Casey Anthony’s shoes.  To have been in jail….. Then again, I have never killed another human being.

Are we all capable of killing?  Many people say, yes, we could.  Given the right circumstance, anyone could kill.  I don’t agree.  I don’t think we all are built or capable to kill.  Most of us could not and would not.

Perhaps if you grew up with violence in the home, or if you grew up with guns, or if you were trained as a soldier, you could.  But, most people are not built to kill, thankfully.

Personally I am a rag doll when faced with danger – I freeze.  And the knowledge that I become crippled in the face of danger, scares me.  I have no defense.  I can’t run either because my knees won’t let me.

Once, quite a number of years ago, when confronted by a peeping tom who was just ten feet away, on my patio, I tried to scream but noting came out of my mouth!

I moved my mouth and tried to yell to get my mom’s attention, but couldn’t.  Then, moments later, my mom saw me.   She took one look at me and saw my terror.  Her head shot in the direction I was looking.  She immediately flew, as fast as a bird, to the sliding glass door and yelled: ‘GET OUT OF HERE!” in a voice so frantic and loud that the guy ran like the devil!

By the time the police arrived, not five minutes later, my mom’s voice was already gone. She’d hurt her vocal chords so badly from that “GET OUT HERE!” that it took a couple of days to regain her voice.

If he hadn’t been behind that glass door, she would have attacked him.  My mom is five feet tall, less than 100 pounds, but she would have killed him to protect me.

I don’t know what it feels like to kill someone, especially someone I love.  I can’t go there in my mind – it’s a place that I can’t bear to contemplate for even a second.  My mind just will not go there.  It must be sanity that keeps my mind from being able to go there, even for a second.

People who kill must be able to go to a place in their mind where they know they could kill.  Do you think that maybe people who kill are born knowing they can kill?

We don’t want killers in society.  We don’t want them walking free among us.   As people of America, we have a system of laws that keep the good people free; the bad people locked away.

That’s what the law says should happen.  The good are free, the bad guys are locked away, right?

No, it’s not so black and white.

There are innocent people in jail right now as I write this, and there are guilty people who are free and committing other crimes as I write this, too.

What can we do about it?   Well we can guard against the bad guys and the killers in our society.  We can take precautions to keep them away from us – lock our car doors, stay in “safe” sections of our communities, put alarms in our homes, carry guns, knives or mace, put bars on our homes.

We do any number of things to keep evil out. But when the evil is within the home, that’s a whole new conundrum that begs for a solution where there often is none.

I know someone, in her 50’s now, who was terrorized from the time she was a young child until the time she got away from her family, at the age of 19. The terrorist was her own brother.

This family, the mother and father, and her, were terrorized by her own brother.  And not a single thing was done to stop it.

He would rage in the home, throw the mother against a wall when the father was gone, kick and throw things at her. He’d terrorize the young girl, pick her up and shake her, scream at her until she’d wet their pants, bang on bedroom doors in the middle of the night, screaming like a maniac at the family.  He held a butcher’s knife on every one of them at one time or another and not a single thing was done to stop it.

It was the 1960’s in a backwards community in rural Tennessee. You see, “Good” people kept their dirty laundry inside the home then. “Good” people were just that, “good,” and they wanted to keep their reputations “good,” too.

This family would never disturb the facade of “goodness” they enjoyed in their neighborhood.  Calling the authorities on their own son was unheard of.  In the 1960’s this did not happen, they thought.  They only knew that families protected their own and kept up appearances.

The son could have killed them all, they knew it, but they did nothing until they just couldn’t stand it anymore and threw him out.  They heard later that he joined the marines.  Yes, this maniac was “good” material for the war in Vietnam.

He survived the Marines and Vietnam, but came home even more violent.

In the 1970’s things were different, especially after Vietnam.  He never returned home but to visit.  He was a drug addict.  But the family had changed the locks and he eventually stopped bothering his family.

He eventually became such a bad drug addict that he killed himself in a drug overdose.

Even with all the turmoil he’d put the family through, when his mother learned of his death, she mourned deeply. The son who had tried to kill her so many times, was deeply mourned in death.

Our mothers will love us no matter what.  Too many mothers, though, have rose colored glasses on when it comes to their own children.

A mother will forgive her children whatever they’ve done, generally speaking.

But, honest and emotionally intelligent mothers will love but never condone the evil that the son or daughter has done.

I think this is why we had issues with Cindy Anthony. And it’s also why Cindy Anthony was in such a precarious position: She loved her granddaughter more than anything, but not more than she loved her own daughter.

I think I can forgive Cindy Anthony for that.  And I can’t help but forgive her because I have not walked in her shoes.  I can’t begin to know what it’s like to live with what she’s living through.

I sympathize with the Anthony’s.  I feel for George Anthony – for what he’s gone through.

Cheney Mason, the annoying defense attorney with the nimble middle finger, said recently that Casey Anthony will have nothing to do with her mother and father, but may see her brother, Lee, some day.

The Anthony’s, like my friend’s 1960’s family, never got help for Casey Anthony.

Casey was a deviant.  She stole thousands of dollars from her mother and family. The Anthony’s nearly lost their home as a result.  The Anthony’s knew Casey didn’t work, but like “good” families, they wouldn’t allow themselves to believe this – they were a family that wanted to keep up appearances.  They were a “good” family and would never admit to themselves they had a deviant daughter.

This perfect daughter wrote this, while in jail, about her loving parents (this is taken verbatim from one of the jail letters to prisoner Robyn Adam):

Saturday, hints why Baez still couldn‘t get a hold of her. Turns out, she meets with Meredith Veiera, formerly of the view, now associated with the media, the Today Show, I believe, or Good Morning America. She‘s not well enough to take advantage of seeing me in person on Friday, but can shmooze with the dirtbags the next day?! Seriously?! But wait, there‘s more! (I‘m sweating while writing this. My emotions are obviously getting a workout.) Come to find out that she put a Trademark on Caylee‘s name months back, never told me, and even talked about doing the same with mine. This is the same time she publicly states that she plans on writing a book about this!

B-E-T-R-A-Y-A-L!!! I‘m so sick to stomach even thinking about this. I‘m the only person who has tried to protect Caylee throughout all of this, and it kills me! All my Mom talks about now is doing a public service for herself, because she needs to. I can‘t believe my own mother is capitalizing, or trying to, off of everything that has happened. I had written her expressing my disgust, grief, and hurt, after what happened on Friday, this is before finding out all of this. And what happens when she meets up with Baez yesterday to read my letter? She laughs at the idea of getting caught with her lunch on Saturday. Laughs!

I can‘t take it Robyn. I can‘t I‘ve done everything possible to hold my family together and I continue to get stomped on, thrown under the bus, and it doesn‘t surprise me anymore when it happens. I have too many other things to worry about and now all of this! I‘ve officially lost my entire blood-related family in the blink of an eye, in the midst of mourning my daughter‘s death, trying to exonerate myself, and figure out what steps to take in achieving these things, and I get Fucked over by my entire family. I talked to Chaplain Gonzalez about it briefly, Cliff Notes version, and she wanted to cry. She told me my feelings are completely valid, and that I have to start looking out for myself. Not that I have a choice in the matter. They chose for me.

Casey was perfect.  She was pretty. Popular.  The Antony’s have known all along about Casey but did nothing to help her because they could not or would not see it.

The Anthony’s knew she never graduated high school, but pretended she had.  They knew she was pregnant, but wouldn’t believe “good” Casey would have sex, so therefore she couldn’t be pregnant.

I’m not sure if it was George or Cindy who said, “She’s not pregnant, she’d have to have sex to be pregnant.”   (I believe it was Rick, Cindy’s brother, who revealed this conversation he’d had with Cindy when he was talking with Yuri Melich.)

So, is the Anthony saga coming to an end now with her freedom?  Probably not.  But, the Anthony’s will one day become a faded memory to us, believe it or not.

Oh, this case will be remembered, but the feelings of hate that many have for Casey Anthony will fade because  time heals everything.

Time heals even the memories of so called, “Trials of the Century.”    A century is a long time.  This is the year 2011 and no doubt there will be many more “Trials of the Century” before this century is over – in the year 2100.

We have 89 more years to go before this century is over and I guarantee this trial will be forgotten in the year 2100.  Oh, maybe it will be “Googled” in future law school classes, but then again, maybe not.  Who knows!

All I know is Casey Anthony has a lot of years of living to do before her times ends.  I hope she fills, what is left of her life, with grace.  That’s the poet and the dreamer in me talking, though.

In reality, I know Casey Anthony will not have a good life and will probably end up living her life out in some prison in America.

So be it.  Live and let live.

Good-bye Casey.

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15 Comments Post a comment
  1. Hilde
    Jul 16 2011

    Andrea, this is a heartfelt Post, thanks for sharing.
    As for understanding Cindy and forgiving her, I am so glad it isn’t up to me to forgive her or the Family, I leave that up to a Higher Power.
    I do like the Title of Your Post 🙂
    Good bye Casey Anthony, go on with Your Life now without Your precious Daughter Caylee and stay out of Our Life’s.

    Reply
    • Jul 17 2011

      Hi Hilde, I hope she’ll go on with her life and find some kind of redemption and happiness…. But, mostly, I hope she comes to terms with her actions and asks for forgiveness.

      Reply
  2. Jul 16 2011

    Beautifully written, as always, my friend

    I will say that if I feared for my son (not very likely now but..) I would kill. I would not stop nor would I hesitate.

    Reply
    • Jul 17 2011

      Hi Kim, Thank you so much….

      Reply
  3. Jul 16 2011

    Andrea, the past and present collide, giving off hot volcanic eruptions to all that has experienced the brokeness of love. This case is the epitomy of a generational brokeness gone wild. Yesterday, I kept pushing, Joseph Conrad’s, ‘The Heart of Darkness, out of my mind. Today, It’s the “good” book and the 7 deadly sins. Caylee’s Law really needs to be pushed, as a titanic iceberg through the halls of justice. More laws, better defined, stiffer penalties, needs to be revamped to protect our children, America’s children. No more victims. No more offenders. No more. Caylee didn’t get the chance, like so many others, past and present, to grow up, but they do grow up, and the future is out there, awaiting change.

    Reply
    • Jul 17 2011

      Hi RahRah….So beautifully written….and sure do agree, there is a lot of broken lives left in the wake of this tragedy. I see that lots of states are pushing for Caylee’s law, and why not – it’s only reasonable. Why it was never on the books before? Because what parent would not report a missing child?

      Reply
  4. Jul 16 2011

    Yeah, bye bye Casey! I’ll bet the jail will celebrate her being gone. She thought she was in a college dorm anyway. Her delusion and fantasy life is what helped her get through the three years. It helps her escape her nagging guilty conscience. I wonder if she won’t lose it one of these days and be baker-acted or put in a mental institution. She will not be able to get settled in life until she faces up to who she is and what she has done and comes to the place of forgiveness that God’s grace grants. Time for her to meet the real Jesus that she wants to spread the gospel cross country in her RV for.

    Reply
    • Faith
      Jul 17 2011

      I do agree that KC has delusions and a fantasy life,however I truly doubt she will ever admit,even to herself,what she has done. I don’t believe for one minute she feels any guilt. There is no “Bella Vita” for KC,she is now and forever will be a mother who killed her child. How very,very sad.

      Reply
      • Jul 17 2011

        Faith, I think you’re probably right, that she feels nothing for Caylee because in her mind she didn’t do it… but, Caylee is her daughter! Even if she believed her own lie, it’s still her daughter. That’s what I don’t get, that she can’t even pretend to grieve for her daughter. It is incredibly sad.

    • Jul 17 2011

      Hi Sherry, LOL! Her writing about the RV was pretty out there…. I really hope she gets the help she needs and does NOT get pregnant!

      Reply
  5. dee
    Jul 17 2011

    GOOD-BYE CASEY. Until we saw you dancing in all your glory, from the table top, to the floor, knowing full well that little Caylee’s lifeless body was wrapped in a trash bag floating in a swamp; until we heard you intentionally diverting the police who were investigating the whereabouts of your missing young daughter, Caylee, with lie, after lie, after lie, we simply could not turn away. Because, while from the outside, you may look like us; your insides are pure evil…..And even if one were to embrace your accidental death “story”…your behavior still makes me scream…HOW COULD YOU…..?!?

    Reply
    • dee
      Jul 17 2011

      Correction
      GOOD-BYE CASEY. Until we saw you dancing in all your glory, from the table top, to the floor, knowing full well that little Caylee’s lifeless body was wrapped in a trash bag floating in a swamp; until we heard you intentionally diverting the police who were investigating the whereabouts of your missing young daughter, Caylee, with lie, after lie, after lie, we did not know a monster was amongst us…and..we simply could not turn away. Because, while from the outside, you may look like us; your insides are pure evil…..And even if one were to embrace your accidental death “story”…your behavior still makes me scream…HOW COULD YOU…..?!?

      Reply
      • Jul 17 2011

        Dee… I wonder if she’ll ever realize what she’s done? I hope her jail is now inside her mind where she asks herself over and over and over again: HOW COULD I ???

  6. Faith
    Jul 17 2011

    Andrea
    This is certainly one of your very best,and I thank you.

    Faith

    Reply
    • Jul 17 2011

      Faith, thank you so much for saying that…it’s very nice feedback to hear. 🙂

      Reply

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