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August 10, 2011

61

Here’s my heart

by Andrea O'Connell

It’s a Wednesday evening.  (Two more days until the weekend.)

I am exhausted from a long day of teaching, and it’s late right now.  I didn’t eat dinner (I forgot to), and I’m sitting here writing because, I am committed to the WordPress Post a Day challenge for 2011.  I have made a promise to myself to write every day until the clock strikes 2012.

I won’t try to convince you that it’s been an easy challenge because it’s not at all easy, but it’s never drudgery.  That’s because I love blogging.

As a result of signing up for this Post a Day challenge, WordPress sends bloggers different ideas about topics to write about.  Since I never had a problem deciding what to write about, I didn’t need the suggestions – I wrote about the Caylee Anthony murder for nearly three years and there was always something to write about!

A day or so ago WordPress sent out a suggestion for a post that I liked.   The  suggestion was to write a post about why we became bloggers and why we gave our blog its name.

Image Credit: Saper Galleries

The main reason I started this blog was to prove to myself that I could really do it, first of all.   And secondly, because I really really needed to vent about the Caylee Anthony case.  I never thought anyone would read my blog.  I didn’t think it would become anything other than a place for me to rant about the Anthony case.   I called the blog “only dreamin”  because it was my dream to begin a blog, I was only dreaming about anyone “liking” the blog.

It took a while for me to figure out what I was doing, and how to do it. It also took some time for me to figure out what my “voice” was on the blog.

My first blog post was July 11, 2009.  I had no idea what I was doing; no idea how to blog, or how anything worked on WordPress.  I didn’t know what “tags” were, I didn’t know anything and had no idea about “hits” either.  (Hits refer to people “hitting” or landing on your blog.)

I’ve always wanted to start a blog, but didn’t think I could write anything people would read.  In short, I never expected much, but my dreams were bigger than my doubts.

And then, I began to meet and chat with other bloggers, and friendships started in this little community of ours.  We all have grown to respect and like one another, too.

It was Sherry who was the very first commenter on my blog.  And when I read what she’d written it nearly made me cry, and I prayed she’d come back often.  She did!   One of the sweetest notes she wrote to me was:

God bless you in all of your endeavors! May all your dreams come true and when they do may you say, Am I dreamin’?

By the time I decided to commit to the Post a day challenge for 2011, so many new people began to visit and leave notes!    That has been the real blessing.

So, that is how this blog was born!  I thought it was a dream on the one hand, and on the other hand, it was an avenue for me to discuss my dreams (about happiness, gratitude, justice, and many more things).

I love blogging.  There is nothing more satisfying than to finish a post and press that “publish” button!  My heart stops every time I press that button.

I have not missed a single night of writing a post!  The grand total of posts for 2011, after this post is published, is a total of  222 posts.  (Yup, we are 222 days into 2011 already!)

I think this is a good time to tell my fellow-bloggers how much they mean to me.

It was in 2008 when I met Kitt in a chat-room about the Anthony case.  When Kitt came to visit for the first time, I couldn’t believe it!  I always learn something from Kitt. (Heart out to you, Kitt.)

Weezie aka Louise, has been so kind from very early on, when I first started the blog.  I have grown so fond of Weezie, and I delight in the support she constantly gives me. (Heart out to you, Weezie.)

Hilde, dear Hilde was one of the very first to visit.  Always so kind and supportive, and I love it when she “vents,” because her passion is divine.  (Heart out to you, Hilde.)

Knight Owl and Louie have been visiting for a while now, too.  No cat can hold a candle to Louie!  And Knight Owl has always brought so much knowledge and insight.  (Heart out to you, Knight Owl & Louie).

Jon is old faithful, but I think he’s so bummed about the verdict that he’s given up on blogging, and I miss him.  Jon has made me laugh so much!  (Heart out to you, Jon.)

Off-the-cuff is has incredible insight and analytical skills.  OTC tells it like it is, no holes barred, which I appreciate so much.  (Heart out to you, OTC.)

Rob is another old faithful and is another one with great insight.  Rob writes thought provoking comments – he’s pretty funny, too.  (Heart out to you, Rob.)

I love it when Venice visits, although she has a busy life, she pops in on occasion to make us laugh.  (Heart out to you, Venice.)

Kim, dearest Kim.  She has a blog, too, listed in my Blogroll.  Kim has the best spirit and more courage than I think I could muster.  My dear friend, Kim is always there.  (Heart out to you, Kim.)

EDRN and Kim and I became buddies when we tried to hula-hoop.  I never did it very well, but EDRN got pretty good at it.  Miss you, EDRN.  (Heart out to you, EDRN.)

CptKD, my dear friend, another Kim.  What a writer she is!  CptKD wrote a post for me, too.  That was a lot of fun, and a good learning experience for both of us. CptKD is another very courageous soul; and she brings an LE insight, too, which we love. (Heart out to you, CptKD.)

The fact that Dee visits and leaves such wonderful insight from a lawyers perspective is incredibly valuable and enlightening.  Dee is very generous about sharing her knowledge, and I am so grateful for that!  (Heart out to you, Dee.)

There is no better cheerleader than RahRah!  A loving and generous soul who has so much to share. Love her insight into the case.  (Heart out to you,  RahRah.)

Mainstreamfair, dear heart, has her own wonderful blog, too.  It’s on my blogroll.  If you’ve not visited her blog, you’ll love it.  Thank you for your support, Mainstreamfair.  (Heart out to you.)

Marinade Dave is someone I am honored to call friend.  What a writer!  He has been so generous with his vast knowledge about the Anthony case, and about Orlando.  We were all so pleased that Dave was hired by Orlando Magazine to cover the trial.  He did an incredible job, too. (Heart out to you, Dave.)

Nan11 doesn’t have a blog of her own (I don’t think), but she’s a wonderful writer.  Maybe she’ll start a blog, too – hint hint!  (Heart out to you, Nan.)

Humble Opinion’s blog was the very first blog I ever read on the Casey Anthony case. What a great job she does and has done, to record the events leading up to the trial in the Anthony case.  I don’t always have the time to visit her blog, but love it when I do. (Heart out to you, Humble.)

Damaged Pets is a writer who has great insight about the Anthony case, especially.  I get blown away nearly every time a comment is left because you get right to the core issue, Damaged Pets. (Heart out to you.)

Although I don’t always agree with GasCanGeorge, the comments give me a different perspective to consider, a different point of view.  The beauty of living is that we all think differently.  How boring it would be if there were no diversity of thought!  (Heart out to you.)

Faith is very kind and  knowledgeable and I always look forward to hearing from her!  Like her name, her faith is so great.  She is a true believer. (Heart out to you, Faith.)

Shyloh has been following the Anthony case, like most of us had, since day one, and her insight is rich, too.  I love the name “Shyloh” too!  (Heart out to you, Shyloh.)

And Lona1 is hysterical and always finds the best You Tube videos to share!  I love to laugh with Lona!  (Heart out to you, Lona1.)

Whistler’smother is another blogger with terrific insight who I love to hear from.  Thank you for all the time you visit!  (Heart out to you, Whistlersmother.)

KatyDid always has something kind and thoughtful to share…. I enjoy her visits so much!  (Heart out to you, KatyDid.)

Linda, NancyB, Colleen, Addie, Another Andrea, Darlene, Michael D, Marcie, Margaret, Brandon Bob…. You continue to teach me so much….. (Heart out to all of you.)

And lastly, Sherry, who I mentioned earlier as one of the first to visit and write lovely and encouraging things to me, has been such a dear friend to me.  Sherry, I think the world of you and I thank you for all you’ve given to support me these last couple of years.  (Heart out to you, Sherry.)

I am sure I have forgotten to list so many….  It’s not that I forgot you, it’s just that I am bleary eyed and my mind is mush, mashed mush to be exact.

In closing, I’m not only dreamin’ any longer because so many lovely people have jumped into my heart and filled it right up!

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61 Comments Post a comment
  1. Aug 11 2011

    Aw, shucks, dearheart, you’re making me blush! 😳

    You do have alot of wonderful commentors. It makes me glad to have encouraged you! keep on dreamin’! I look forward to your posts!

    Reply
    • Aug 11 2011

      Thanks Sherry! You’re right, I am blessed to have so many readers and commentators here! It makes it all worth the while…

      Reply
  2. Aug 11 2011

    OHMYWORD!! I read your blogs daily even if I don’t comment. Seeing my name was, well it left me speechless and teary eyed. I love the way you write and it shows love and concern. And you from what I have seen here are just a supper hero for lots of people who need justice.
    Thank you for being you
    and for all that you do.
    I am sort of stuck with my name shyloh. And I sort of love it as well ha.

    HUGS to you and all that comment here.

    Reply
    • Aug 11 2011

      Aww, Shyloh! Well, I always look forward to reading all the wonderful things you have to say and,,,, just to know you’re out there reading is too wonderful, too! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Aug 11 2011

    What a thoughtful post Andrea. I too visit each day, even if I don’t comment. God bless you, and keep you in his loving care. By the way Andrea I am a she, Rob is my nickname.

    Reply
    • Aug 11 2011

      Rob?? LOLOLOL! That is so funny!!!!! I never ever thought otherwise! Oh, that just threw me for a great loop! That’s why your comments are so sensitive and dear!!!!

      Reply
      • Aug 12 2011

        😆 Maybe we should flip the gravatars upside down to check for sex~

      • Aug 12 2011

        I dunno Sherry – my little baby dragon may not cotton to being flipped 😉

      • Aug 12 2011

        Baby dragon can be any sex he/she wants…I’m stayin’ my distance! 😆

      • Aug 12 2011

        lol

        Baby is a sweety – for now

  4. Aug 11 2011

    You made me cry, dang it!!

    I love reading your posts, my dear Andrea, because you have a gleaming humanity that lifts my fogs and warms my days.

    We have blogged about many things but mainly about a precious child we never knew but came to love. As our lives take over please don’t let us part for long! I need the encouragement you bring!!

    Reply
    • Aug 11 2011

      Oh, no Kim! We are next door neighbors on WordPress – I’m not moving anytime soon….:) Thanks for your kind words, too, Kim.

      Reply
      • Aug 12 2011

        I heart you Andrea

  5. Aug 11 2011

    Andrea, You always spoke with Your Heart and that is what I liked about Your Blog from the Beginning.
    The Anthony Case was the Beginning of my posting on Blogs.
    I never did it before.
    It was nice to be able to talk to People about this aggravating and sad Case. I needed like so many other People to make my Opinion heard, in other Words it was good to have an Outlet for the Frustration I felt in this Case, also the Benefit of coming on these Blogs was I met a lot of good People, some of them maybe not so good, but thats ok too, I also learned from them, for one I didn’t want to be like them ever. 😆
    Although I felt like so many Others that Injustice has been done in this Case, we have to move on knowing down the Road Casey A. will have to answer for what she has done, I am confident about that.
    Andrea, it has been a Pleasure coming and reading on Your Blog.
    You are a very sensitive and loving Person who is fair in what You write.
    I am always looking forward to what Your next Topic will be.
    Also I like to thank You for acknowledging all the People individual who visited Your Blogs over time, that is really a nice Gesture and is appreciated, I hope You know that.
    You will be successful in whatever You want to do, that is just the kind of Person You are.

    Reply
    • Aug 11 2011

      How sweet of you, Hilde. Thank you for your kindness. You have been there for a long time and I am so thankful that you are here still. I love hearing from you, and glad that you picked this blog as a recipient of your thoughts and feelings, that so many of us share. 🙂

      Reply
  6. Aug 11 2011

    Late last night I read this, and was too choked up with the ever lovin’ kind words from Sherry, to you. I could read no further. True blessings come in the unlikeliest of places. Today, i was able to finish reading, teary eyed, again. Andrea, your blog, is a gift, that I get to open up every day. (And I barged in, like a bull in a china shop, and made myself at home. Thank you for being kind, and accepting me anyway, lol!) Again, Thank you, Andrea. You ALL are, truely a gift, and a blessing~with much love, RahRah

    Reply
    • Aug 11 2011

      RahRah, We are all grateful for you – especially me! Your reactions to things remind me of how I feel so often! And, you are no more a bull in a china shop than I am a truck driver! LOL!

      Reply
  7. CptKD
    Aug 11 2011

    You truly are a sweetheart. . . And you definately know how to make someone feel special. Thank you for that, and for everything else you bring us. Your commitment to writing daily, especially after working the long hours you do, is special and means much to all of us. You have an incredible way of sharing your thoughts, ideas and beliefs, and being permitted to peak into that HEART of yours, is truly an honour! Thank you so very much, Andrea! You inspire me. . . To keep DREAMIN’!

    Reply
    • Aug 11 2011

      A big ol’ DITTO

      Wavin’ atcha, Cap! Hope you are getting well-er! :mrgreen:!

      Reply
      • Aug 11 2011

        Ditto Ditto!!!

    • Aug 12 2011

      CptKD…. You are special, and you inspire me, too with your courage and commitment to be so strong. You’re a wonderful writer, too. I am amazed that I could inspire you… you inspire me, too. so we both inspire the other! How perfect!.

      Reply
      • CptKD
        Aug 13 2011

        It is PERFECT!

        And I thank you again – For everything!

  8. Faith
    Aug 11 2011

    I was new to online forum and blogs when something from your blog was posted on a forum with a link. I’ve never been anything but thankful that I clicked on that link and read your blog for the first time. Then I went back and I think I read everything you wrote on the murder of a beautiful little child named Caylee. I cried when I saw the picture of Caylee’s Angels and was dumbfounded as I watched when the verdict for KC was read. Now I feel sorrow for those jurers who have been exposed to what KC and the entire defense team are really about. I could not believe they didn’t understand about the tape,the smell in the car,or why they didn’t ask to see any of the evidence or hear any of the Universal tapes or jail tapes again. Their names will be released sometime in the future and they now have to live with the decision they made. I hope they are at peace with their decision.
    As for KC only time will tell.
    You are truly a gifted writer and please continue this wonderful blog. It’s a gift to so many.

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Faith, I’m glad you clicked that link, too! I love that picture of Caylee’s angels. And, we know the State didn’t fail Caylee – not in the least. The jury failed her. I just wrote something about that tonight in fact. When I saw that DCF report it just brought all the anger of the verdict right back….
      I agree with you that we should hope the jury is at peace, somehow. We have to be at peace with their terrible decision…. they have to live with it and I wouldn’t want to be them…. what a burden they’ll have to carry….

      Reply
  9. Aug 11 2011

    Awww, Andrea, you’re so kind. I do remember when we first met. I kept going back to that live-chat, which had become pretty much a ghost-town. Out of frustration, I think I posted something like “WHere is everybody?” and you gave me the update and let me know about your blog. And here we are!
    Yeah, you choked me up and got me all misty-eyed just now. 🙂
    This is a very good place to be. A while back, I had gotten in on some other blogs and found myself (much too easily) following form and being a person that I don’t really think I am, and didn’t want to be. I went by a different name, and that’s why that darned name is still stuck with me (when you hover over my avatar). I just don’t know how to get rid of it.
    Anyway, my grandson is calling me to dinner, so I’ll wrap this up real quick. It’s just great being here.

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Kitt, I really enjoy talking with you here, and I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on blogs completely after the experience you had. No one will ever say anything hateful here…(I have a delete key!!!)
      It’s so great to have you here. 🙂

      Reply
  10. Aug 11 2011

    LOL! Kinda funny…I just now hovered over my avatar, and somehow, that old name isn’t attached to me any more! Like magic!

    Reply
  11. Linda
    Aug 11 2011

    Hi Andrea, I heart you and your blogs…. You always have WONDERFUL guest.. I don’t comment alot but I do read your blog daily.. You are always kind and understanding to everyone .
    I love when you write about your brother, your niece and your Mom………and your pets…..
    That also says something about you…….So keep on blogging and we will keep on reading……….

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Thanks Linda! I’m so glad you said that about writing about my family! i was hoping I wasn’t boring anyone! LOL! It’s lovely to know that you’re out there reading every day! This is what I was dreaming of all along – like when Sally Field said when she accepted her Oscar,… she said, “you like me, you really like me?” It’s a terrific feeling!

      Reply
  12. Aug 12 2011

    Aweeeeeeee Andrea, Louie and i are very humbled that we got mentioned on your list. Your a doll to do so and we love you and your blog. You have been such an inspiration to Caylee and all of us with your fantastic insights and wonderfully thought out intellectual posts. Here’s to many more years to reading your blogs and having you as mine and Louie’s best friend. Thank you so much~~

    Reply
  13. Aug 12 2011

    Louie and i heart everyone that is here today and that means Louie is waving at all of you too. Now off to find Andrea’s newest post. nitey nite~~

    Reply
  14. Faith
    Aug 12 2011

    Okay now I’m jealous! You mentioned knight owl’s cat so I’ll mention my companion.
    Remember dogs have masters.
    Cats have staff!
    Well I am the staff of a very mouthy mostly Siamese cat(his mother was indiscreet). He nags me when he needs the water in the bathroom sink turned on to drip. He sleeps on me when I’m on my Lazy Boy loveseat and even beside me in bed depending on his mood and the weather.
    All he has to do is look up at me with his amazing blue eyes and I’m done,I simply melt.

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Boy howdy! Am I glad to know that my cat is not the only one who begs for the bathroom sink water! He’s an inbred and not too bright so I figured it was another one of his quirks I had to live with.

      Reply
      • Aug 12 2011

        LOL! “Like”

    • Aug 12 2011

      Faith, that is soooo true! Cats do have staff….Oh, I’m a sucker for my Beau, that’s for sure…. 🙂

      Reply
  15. Aug 12 2011

    Imagine being bossed around by a single cat!!

    I am so lucky – I have 3 dogs that have me leaping to their every demand! They even tell me when to go to bed!!

    Reply
  16. Aug 12 2011

    I’ve heard of cow-tipping, but dragon-flippin??! And masters, and wait-staff! Oh my goodness I’m laughing so hard!! I love you guys!!

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Caution with the dragon flipping!

      Baby seems to resent tail lifting

      Reply
  17. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    Andrea, just wanted to let you know I am still alive and well. I do read on occassion, but to be honest with you, I have had my fill of Casey. The trial is over, what’s done is done and we can’t change it. I read about boycotts, letter writing campaigns, etc and it makes me cringe. I have wasted enough of my time over the past 3 years. So anyway, I am alive and well, living my life and loving my family. I hope you, Kim and Weezie are well.

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      EDRN!!!!!!

      I have missed you so!!!!!

      Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Oh, EDRN! How lovely to hear from you! I was sure you were doing well, and figured you were saddened by the outcome of the case. And, I totally agree with you, too. The trial is over, the jury spoke. Sadly, they were not the jury we thought they would be. They were a jury for the defense, much to my surprise and amazement. I respect their verdict but i do not agree with it, of course.

      It’s wrong to be a hater as a result of the verdict. It’s wrong to torture another person over the outcome of a trial in a court of law. It is best to do exactly as you have done – turn away from it – to dwell in hatred of another person, even if it’s Casey Anthony, is unhealthy. It’s never a good idea to allow such negativity and hate of someone dwell within us. I think that people who are so nasty and hateful are only hurting themselves – it’s not hurting Casey Anthony.

      I was so angry at the verdict for the first couple of days. I was angry because there was no justice for Caylee. But then I realized that the trial, for good reason, was not about Caylee. It is only ever about proving or disproving the culpability of the accused. The victim does take center stage, but the show is about the defendant, you know what i mean?

      Anyway…. I understand about needing to move away from the case….I am still fascinated by it and love to write about it because I find that in nearly every twist and turn in this story, there is a moral and there are always fascinating things to learn, too. 🙂
      Big ole hugs to you!!!!!

      Reply
  18. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    Hi Kim, I have missed you too. I had to take a break and get on with my life. So all is well here. How are you? All things good?

    Reply
  19. Aug 12 2011

    It’s hot and sweltering! But it is Texas, after all!

    I am healed well – been told it can’t be seen – I say BS 😉

    We can blog about anything your heart desires! tell me what sparks you, woman!!

    Reply
  20. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    You make me laugh! Hmmmm….what sparks me? I will have to give it some thought. I am worn out about missing/abused/killed kids, the economy, the recession, healthcare etc….I want to talk about happy things, lovely things, so I really don’t know.

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Laughter – love –

      canning

      tell me!!

      Reply
      • Aug 12 2011

        By celebrating the joys and beauty in our lives we reduce her

        she becomes nothing

        as it should be

  21. Aug 12 2011

    What have you done since you left us…

    Reply
  22. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    I have spent time with the gr dgts, did arts and crafts, went to the park and played on the swings, slid on the slides, jump roped etc. I have continued to crochet, cook, spend time with Steve etc. We went on a road trip this summer, started out in NY, drove to Indianapolis, ate at a restaurant we saw on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, spent the nite then headed to OK. Spent a few days there with family, then went to Nashville and spent 4 days listening to music, touring the County Music Hall of Fame, The Ryman Theater and Grand Old Opry and of course the whole city of Nashville. Then we headed to Gettysburg, spent a couple of days there exploring the battle sites, then headed home. It was a great trip. We have been going to lots of Arts and Craft Shows, festivals etc…always on the lookout for Christmas presents. How about you?

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      I LOVE it!!!!

      I have been dealing with my scars, had lots of wonderful people help me. I am working full time and I am now focusing on loosing all the weight I packed on during my feel-sorry-for=Kimmy bit

      Reply
  23. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    Yeah, I am still trying to lose weight too….who would have thought it would be so hard to lose when it was soooooo easy to put on?
    I’m sure your scars are much more bothersome to you than to anyone else. If you can’t hide/fix them, celebrate them! They are you. Think of them as your hard earned battle scars. Embrace them!

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      I am learning to – I am hard to keep down and oh well, don’t like it, don’t look – ya know?

      Reply
  24. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    Good for you……rock on!

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      Besides – there are far worse things as we all know

      Reply
  25. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    Can you send me an email (if you still have mine) so I can have yours? My computer died last month and I lost all my addresses. Luckily I had the warranty and got a brand new shiny one.

    Reply
  26. Aug 12 2011

    I hope I sent it to you!!!

    lol

    let me know, Doll!

    Reply
  27. EDRN
    Aug 12 2011

    Got it…thanks

    Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      damn I’m good 😉

      Reply
    • Aug 12 2011

      I lost all my contacts, when my PC crashed and erased all my contacts and my calendar from my iPhone…. Send it to me too, Kim….pretty please?

      Reply
      • Aug 12 2011

        On it’s way!!

  28. Aug 13 2011

    Oh gosh, Kim, I hope you recover good as new! I will keep you & CptKD in my prayers. ~gentle hugs

    Reply

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