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August 18, 2011


giving grace, even to the anthony’s

by Andrea O'Connell

They’re missing, murdered, abducted and sold.  Children all over the planet are victimized day in and day out.   Few victims are recovered alive, and that’s what is so desperately upsetting, unbearable for the families, and loved ones waiting and hoping for what must seem like forever.

Often it is forever.

Jennifer Kesse, missing since 1/24/06

Caylee Anthony was also a victim, but of murder.

Recently, Drew Kesse, father of the beautiful Jennifer Kesse, missing from Orlando Florida since January 24, 2006, lambasted George and Cindy Anthony in the press for their actions.

Kesse, responding to Hal Boedeker’s Orlando Sentinel Blog regarding the Anthony’s upcoming appearance on the Dr. Phil show, calling Dr. Phil “a pimp for this garbage,” referring to the Anthony’s.

Kesse was uber critical, writing that Caylee was never a missing child, she was a murdered child.  The Anthony’s, he said, should “Go away, go far away, please.”  He also wrote:

Let’s get one thing straight right now, Dr. Phil, you are a pimp for this garbage.  The Anthonys and this new foundation are the biggest insults to every missing person in America today. Dr. Phil, after the show airs and you make a donation to their new scam, have on real families of the missing.

Of course, it’s true that Caylee was never missing, and the Anthony’s are not, and have never been the picture of propriety or trust.  However, I don’t think it was necessary for Drew Kesse to so publicly beat on the Anthony’s.  The fact is, the Anthony’s lost the love of their life – Caylee was probably the only joy in their life.

And so, I think it is cruel to knock the Anthony’s down further than they already are.  What’s the point?  Who are the Anthony’s hurting?  Will our sympathy be less for missing children if George and Cindy bring attention to their plight?

It’s as if people think missing children will be thought of with some kind of disregard if the Anthony’s are involved in helping this cause.  How does that make sense?  What ever happened to the sentiment of “live and let live?”   What about “turn the other cheek?”  Or, do we only respect the sentiment of “an eye for an eye?”   God help us if we do.

It is never good, in my humble opinion, to attack another person, especially to make them suffer!  Why extend cruelty?  It’s one thing to criticize, quite another thing to attack and hate. The Anthony’s were always their own worst enemies, why make it worse?  They’ve done a pretty good job screwing up their own lives and don’t need our help.

The Anthony’s want to work for the cause of missing children.  And that is because, they wanted to believe Caylee was missing, they did not want to face the truth, even though I am certain they always knew the truth, of course they didn’t want to face it.

People do funny things when overtaken by the kind of grief they were faced with.   How would you react if your granddaughter was murdered by your only daughter? Granted, most of us are law-abiding and trusting that law enforcement will act with good faith, but the Anthony’s never trusted – they seemed to think they were above the law, which was tragic for them, in the end.

If I were in their shoes, I would surely be out of my mind with grief and would probably make many mistakes, too.  Many would.  Especially in the glare of the camera.

Isn’t it time to leave this family alone?  Sure, they are not honest; sure they lied on the witness stand; sure, they tampered with evidence, and yes, they did so many things that were on the verge of scandalous.    You know what their real crime is, in my opinion?  They are only human.

I have been terribly critical of the Anthony’s leading up to the trial of their daughter, Casey Anthony.  It is time to forgive and forget – time for me, anyway.

The Anthony’s undoing resulted because they put the spot light on themselves, and we saw an intense dysfunction that we couldn’t turn away from.  Seeing the Anthony’s mistakes and misdeeds reminded many of us that our lives were pretty sane in comparison.

That makes me think, there but for the grace of God go I.

35 Comments Post a comment
  1. Aug 19 2011

    I say, Well said, Drew Kesse!

    God is no fool. I believe God spoke through him. We shopuld NEVER tell someone else to turn the other cheek but rather come to the defense of those being wronged. Drew Kesse did that for those who are truly missing and for those who have missing loved ones.

    I have to wonder what a person’s definition of love is when they say that George and Cindy loved Caylee. It makes me shake my head in disbeliefat how one can say that after having watched the trial and seeing how much they “loved” Caylee. They didn’t even show that they loved Casey, for crying out loud!

    • Aug 20 2011

      Hi Sherry, I understand how you feel. I wanted to explore, in this post, why we must hang on to disgust, and if forgiveness of their mistakes is possible.

      As we know, the trial wasn’t about Caylee, it was about determining the quilt of the one accused of the murder. And, the Anthony’s lied and tried to do their level best to save Casey, and sadly, they sure helped in that regard.

      I wonder if the Anthony’s even wanted her to be free? Maybe they wanted her locked away, safely, to do no more harm?

      I think the Anthony’s showed love for Caylee; she was their life. But, not Casey; she had no love for her little girl, and she’s the one who has my wrath, not the Anthony’s.

      Granted, the Anthony’s actions were not what we expected to see, many times. However, I think they were very naive people, even though George was a cop, they were living their mundane, problem-filled life as best they could.

      And, we don’t know the horror and anguish they felt behind closed doors. I think that what we saw – definitely what I saw – was not the true picture of the Anthony’s because they were harassed by so many people – and the media ate it up, we ate it up, and that just created more drama.

      I believe that what the Anthony’s are really guilty of is being ignorant of the press; and realizing they NEVER should have EVER talked publicly about anything except Caylee. Had they followed Mark NeJame’s advise to stop talking, this saga would have taken a different turn. Instead, the Anthony’s fanned the flames of the press by their ignorance. They got the outcome they wanted (Casey free), or is it the outcome they wanted? I surely don’t know!

  2. Aug 19 2011

    First time Commenting|

    Yea, Sherry

    My thoughts exactly

    • Aug 19 2011

      Thank you, Puggy Sue~

      On another note:

      Andrea sez:
      Who are the Anthony’s hurting?

      They are hurting the very grandparents they profess to want to help! They are hurting them because they will have nothing to offer in the form of help, just wait and see if any funds go to hurting grandparents. They are hurting donors who will unsuspectingly give to them thinking it a great foundation. Sure, a fool and his money soon part but some of these fools will be those who have been hurting for their own grandchildren’s plight.

      You know, some things should not be laid to the side and we should not “move on”. For some of us, this is one of those “things”.

      • Aug 19 2011

        Well said, Sherry and I agree. It also hurts legitimate organizations who really do help.

        How many times will they get to set up a fraudulation? How many scams can they pull?

    • Aug 20 2011

      Hi Peggy Sue! Thanks for your comments! Hope you will continue to share your thoughts with us! 🙂

  3. Aug 19 2011

    Of anyone having the ‘right’ to criticize baby Caylee’s (blood-sucking) grandparents, it would have to be Drew Kesse, the parent of a missing child. His child would now be 29. I can only imagine, he relives his nightmare everytime a child is reported missing, abducted, and worse, murdered. 2 yr. old Caylee became a national interest. I cannot imagine being in Kesse’s shoes. I understand the Anthony’s kind of love, it’s not expressed in hugs & kisses, it’s gift wrapped. With fancy paper & fancier bows.

    • Aug 20 2011

      Hi RahRah, Yes, Drew Kesse, like Marc Klass, and so many other parents of murdered / missing children, have every right to be critical of the Anthony’s, as they have made every mistake known to man, and they now look like incredibly stupid and greedy people.

      But, I don’t necessarily think the Anthony’s are awful people. They are only human, they are not savvy people, they are middle class Americans who try to live every day by putting one foot in front of the other, trying to stay upright in the face of the evil they’ve encountered.

      So, I just don’t feel right criticizing them any more, they have been through a kind of hell that not a single one of us would want.

      My complaint about what Drew Kesse did is that it was not necessary and it did not put him good light. It made him seem angry and judgmental by commenting so publicly. He has a website and takes donations. His career is now about finding missing children/Adults and no one criticizes him. Why should the Anthony’s be looked at differently just because Caylee was not missing? To the Anthony’s she was missing at the outset. Maybe the public would feel better if the Anthony’s joined or created a group that tries to help people whose children kill. But, I don’t think they would ever go there because they would invite trouble there, too.

      Anyway, I understand exactly how you feel….:)

  4. cecelia
    Aug 19 2011

    They MAY have loved Caylee but they WORSHIP casey. They erred on the side of not alienating casey at every turn. Now they are literally getting away with their part in covering up the murder of Caylee. for them to now put their faces and names out there in the quest to line their pockets (in my heart i do NOT believe they have any altruistic intentions, its all about the money in THEIR pockets) reputable org’s don’t NEED or want them associating their names as it casts them in the same bad light. if they really want to do something they could be volunteering their time quietly instead of constantly putting themselves in the spotlight.
    their fraudation is two-fold “intending to focus on promoting processes to educate the public about — and advocate for — grandparents’ rights,” ” as well as missing and abused children by maximizing the use of public interactivity to increase efficiency and knowledge….sounds like they just want to pimp themselves to the public while they use Caylee

    • Aug 20 2011

      Hi Cecelia, I agree with you certainly about the Anthony’s would be better off staying quiet. Had they done that from the beginning, as LE tried to get them to understand, they’d be in a different spot now.

      20/20 Hindsight.

      The bottom line about this for most people is the Anthony’s are seen as angry, spiteful, greedy people. The sins of their daughter are blazoned on their lapel like a huge “A” now. I know they have only themselves to blame; I guess I feel that it’s mean-spirited to kick someone when they are already down.

      • Aug 20 2011

        Excuse me. “the sins of the daughter…?” HUH???
        No! They did their own selves no favors all on their own! They were not harrassed during LE interviews when they were throwing others under the bus. They revealed their true selves for all of us to see and the harassment had nothing to do with it. They have the reputation they fully deserve and they worked for it all on their own-their daughter had nothing to do with it. Remember, we all started to see why Casey was the way she was due to Cindy and George’s antics-NOT the other way around.

  5. Aug 19 2011

    What is so “uber critical” about speaking the truth?

  6. Faith
    Aug 19 2011

    I don’t believe in bashing anyone when they are down. That being said I don’t believe for one moment that the A’s are now or ever have been down. I do not understand their idea of love. Caylee lived with them her entire,short life,yet they had no information as to who was supposed to be caring for her while KC worked? I’m reasonably sure they knew KC wasn’t working,where do they think she & Caylee spent their time? They refused to face KC and the fact that she was/is a lazy HS dropout who used Caylee as an accessary around her friends and a pawn between herself & Cindy.
    They are truly a disgrace and should be judged as such. They have shown no remorse for what they did and continue to do in the quest to make money for themselves and to cover-up for KC.

    Forgivesness is only given AFTER confession and repentance.

    repentance is deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.,regret for any past action.

    I don’t waste my time hating anyone as hate only affects and distroys those that hate. I don’t however,have any trust in or respect for the A’s or believe they should continue to prosper from Caylee’s death. Enough is enough. They are an insult to all parents/grandparents of missing children.

  7. Aug 19 2011

    The Anthony’s sadly failed their own daughter, and still, by failing to open their eyes, ears, and hearts. Andrea is right, ‘we are only human’, and fall short in God’s Eyes. ~My own personal journey as a single-parent was the single most toughest challenge I’ve ever faced, and still face. I wasn’t alone, God is with me, every step of the way. I paid dearly, one way or another, to keep my own daughter on the right track. It was a constant, new, battle, sometimes daily, sometimes twice daily, but I couldn’t give up, or close my eyes, or my ears, or my heart. And, I had to learn to bite my tongue, make mistakes and correct them, ask for forgiveness often, and accept the outcome. I learned to stay on my knees in prayer, and learned to listen, for God’s voice, and to trust God, above all others, because there are those that are just plain mean spirited. ~Blessings come in the unlikliest of form.

  8. Linda
    Aug 19 2011

    Sorry Andrea, no forgiveness coming from me… The Anthonys STRAIGHT UP don’t give 2 shits about anyone but themselves…..NEVER DID, they are always right, just ask them…… Not only did they NOT get off their butts to go search for Caylee, they never offered any information that would help LE… They covered everything up………. Did they do that because they loved Caylee? Cindy was more concerned with saving her daughter……rather than on a defenseless 2 yr old…. She is the one who TAUGHT Casey everything she knows……

    I don’t believe for 1 sec that she is not in contact with her daughter..Cindy probably told her…Don’t worry I’llI fix everthing…….From what I have seen of the Anthonys I don’t trust any of them………. How’s the SS CAYLEE boat working out did they ever even search for a Child…..ANYONE? And what kind of information can they give to the families of missing children? Get a lawyer who will work for FREE and a good PR person so you can make ca-ching?

    • Aug 20 2011

      Hi Linda, no apologies required! My only concern is to ask, when is it enough to continue to attack people? Do we ever forgive, especially if we only know a small bit of the truth as it relates to the Anthony family dynamic? We can’t pretend to know so much about people who appear to us on television.

      George Anthony was very upfront with the police from day one. Cindy was, too – but only in the very beginning. Once George and Cindy began to see that Casey was going to be charged with murder, they changed. Prosecutors deal with families like them every day. In the real world, families protect their children, or don’t provide anything that would necessary “help” LE to bring the house down on top of their daughter/children.

    • Aug 21 2011

      Linda; They did go looking for Casey, in particular George did travelling to many Caylee sitings brought to the LE’s office by outsiders. So don’t go spreading that one around. George sat down with the LE dept. and described the car, the smell, the gas cans etc. He was the one who testified at the Grand Jury, to actually help bring about the trial. You may not like that Cindy was an overprotective Mom, but she was making up for all those times Casey and she didn’t get along. You are right about one thing. Casey had a troubled upbringing. But it was her nature to be bad, and it proved troubling for George, Cindy and Lee.

      I would like to think you and the rest of us can big bigger than small. Allow some room for these people to heal and really do something for someone else in trouble. The last 3 years have been about Casey, it’s time for them to come back to the living and feel responsible for something more important than saving a bad seed. Perhaps they know better than most what the signs are and can help those out there that need it. Just saying……

      • Aug 21 2011

        I tend to agree with you, Weezie, because it’s difficult (now) for me to judge the Anthony’s knowing the pain they suffered, but not knowing the full picture regarding their actions. I feel that what we saw of their lives was distorted because everything we know we learned from the media, and we can’t always take them 100% at their word. What we saw on TV of the Anthony’s was so miniscule in relation to their real, outer lives, that to judge someone from that vantage point is very unreliable, very skewed….

      • Oct 4 2011

        Uh…not everything we learned about the Anthonys was from the media. Please. What we learned about them came from documents like LE interviews and let’s not forget the Morgan and Morgan depos. Was it really necessary for Cindy to make threats to Tim Miller? Or to talk as she did to John (can’t think of his name-he was one of those in charge of the investigation)? Cindy and George showed us who they really are without help from any media who only covered the case, they didn’t create it.

  9. Aug 21 2011

    Andrea; I don’t think it’s necessary to defend the Anthony’s to people who have their minds stuck in a mud hole. Noone but the Anthony’s know the pain they are enduring, nor do we know how they plan to atone for the death of their granddaughter. I for one believe they will DO THE RIGHT thing and turn their lives around to do good works for missing children. They are not poster spokespeople for abused children but for MISSING children. They know how that feels because they had no idea Caylee was dead, just MISSING. Denial of your own daughter’s ability to murder her own flesh and blood, must be almost impossible to imagine. So much so, it was “CAYLEE IS MISSING”, not Caylee is dead. Come on people you know that one protects their own mind and heart into believing the best not the worst. Don’t go blaming Cindy and George for that. Once Caylee was found, they were still in denial, but given the death penalty charges, both parents worked to save their child. So much for that, considering Casey threw them away entirely, by refusing to see them, and then, offering her Lawyers a scenario of lies to defend her tawdry little ass. She has no feelings for her family, no feelings for the death of Caylee, but surely we have to stop blaming Cindy and George for the monster ways of Casey. Let them move on and start growing as decent human beings and give them prayers for recovery. You all have the ability to forgive so start by doing so TODAY. I am hating the bashing and find it as criminal as the acts themselves.

    • Aug 21 2011

      The “mudhole” is called “righteous indignation” for seeing the Anthonys do all to pervert justice for their innocent, helpless grandchild-the ONLY victim.

      What is your definition of love?. You seem to think that lying in a court of law where truth and justice is to be sought is love for your grandchild-and your daughter. Wow. Hateful, contemptable acts are now considered love. I’d hope that’s enough to free the woman from prison in my neck of the woods for her act of obstructing an investigation for her son’s sake. It was done out of love, after all. Oh. Wait. She is a poor black woman and no grifter, er, Cindy Anthony. She didn’t make a public spectacle of herself proclaiming her murderer son is a victim, too.

      I pray to God that I never say its OK what a person does because they are “only human”. That is the very reason to speak up for the sake of the victims of such inhumane acts by “only humans”. The Anthonys victimized their granddaughter all over again by their lying in court. Just like a rape victim gets revictimized, that is what Caylee’s memory went through.

      • Aug 21 2011

        Hey Sherry, the only problem with the “truth” in the justice system, is that even though they strive for it, it is a very difficult bar to set. The prosecutors know that family protects family! I don’t think the Anthony’s were victimizing Caylee by lying in court because the trial was not about Caylee, it was about finding Casey culpable. The Anthony’s did not want Casey to die, and that is exactly what they feared most. I can’t blame them, I would have been devastated had Casey gotten the death penalty, not because i didn’t think her crime deserved it, but because putting someone, anyone, to death, is wrong in my opinion, though i would have understood the decision if death were the outcome.

        The fact that she carried her child around in her car for days, then threw her poor body in a swamp deserves an absolute punishment, had the jury believed that is what occurred.

        Casey Anthony is very, very lucky. Perhaps she too will turn her life around, down the line, and become a person who contributes to society in a positive way. LOL! That’s a long shot, but it could happen, if the public ever allows it, that is.

      • Aug 21 2011

        It may seem to be a long shot but it is my prayer for her and George and Cindy. Society should never forgive perversions of justice (but those who have perverted it upon their repentance, ofcourse). But, society has over the course of history overlooked these perversions and we see violence getting worse and worse.

        One more note on this subject as I have said way too much, I’m sure. The Kesse’s had a closer view of the Anthonys than we did as well as Tim Miller. They have spoke up about it and told the truth. People aren’t ignorantly despising the Anthonys and their repulsive behaviors through only believing the media bias.

      • Oct 3 2011

        I really enjoy your positive posts Andrea, but a tiger does not change it’s stripes. Casey will not change for the better, in my opinion. She will continue her post-Caley death, i.e. partying, drinking/drugs, promiscuous behavior, after she completes her sentence. My fear is that she will get pregnant again, and that child will become another victim of her twisted parenting.

        The Anthony family should have backed away from the lies, subterfuge, and obfuscation. Instead, I believe Cindy, being the head of household, chose to save her daughter, at any cost to them personally. Caley was dead, and Casey was not, in Cindy’s eyes. I believe we heard her state, during the Dr. Phil interviews, that once a person is dead, the body means nothing (paraphrasing). Therefore, in Cindy’s mind, she chose save the living. It may have been driven by love, but there was nothing decent about their reasons, or actions, in this matter.

        Also, I believe that the D.A. needed to charge Casey properly. She was the caregiver, the child died in her care. She is culpable, and responsible for her minor child’s well being. The charge should have been a lesser one, i.e. Third Degree Manslaughter..carrying the additional charge… “in the death of a minor”. If this charge would have been leveled, initially, Casey would be sitting in jail for 25 years to life. That would have more appropriately, reflected her wrong-doing in the death of her minor daughter. What do you think?

    • Aug 21 2011

      Yes, Weezie, that is exactly my point. We have the ability to forgive, and for crying out loud, we don’t even know these people! 🙂

  10. Oct 3 2011

    Watch this recently released video of Casey Anthony, sitting in a chair, in the jail infirmary. Then, tell me you see no consciousness of guilt. I see it in her rocking, wrapping her arms around her torso (self-soothing), hyperventilating , opening and closing her hands, as if trying to regain control, and blood flow to her extremities. After this, Casey asked for a xanax, and was given one. I think she was on the verge of passing out.

    It is evident, from this video that Casey Anthony knew the news was reporting that they found Caley’s body. I do not understand why the Court, did not allow this to be viewed by the jury. It is proof,…evidence, of her culpability in the death of her daughter. Under the law, Casey was the caregiver, and legal guardian, and her daughter died in her care. Hence, she is guilty for the death of Caley Marie Anthony.

    Casey killed her child, whether accidentally, or on purspose, and should be in jail today. Under the law, she is guilty for the death of a minor child, in her care. Casey should not be out, perhaps, repeating post-Caley behavior. God help any child, who is delivered into her care!!! It could happen again,….whether is the form of continued abuse, or ultimately death of another innocent, in her care.

  11. Oct 3 2011

    Hi Katie! Thanks so much for your observations and insight. I’ll be sure to respond with a note tomorrow evening…. it’s past my bedtime! 🙂

  12. Oct 4 2011

    My dear Andrea; I read the first five comments and scolled down to make my own. I am so tired of people making posters of the Anthony’s even now. There is no need to continue the maligning of the Anthony’s. They lost a lot. We all did. It’s very small and unproductive to keep stirring up the dirt, to appease one’s own anger of what happened while Caylee was in the care of Casey. It’s over you mean spirited Christians. While you continue the debate, nothing is accomplished, that couldn’t be done by giving to your neighbourhood children and teens, who need guidance and understanding. This no example of how to educated our youth. You must set a high example of for them to strive. Hearing all this bickering will only prove to bring up another generation of screaming wildcats.
    As far as the foundation for Caylee, don’t worry, the Anthony’s will be watched very carefully by the IRS. If people want to give it’s their choice, not yours to disuade an individual’s freedom. I’m sick of people being so mean. GROW UP.

    Thanks Andrea, you can see I’m on your side of the debate.

  13. Oct 4 2011

    First five comments:

    Me (Sherry)
    Puggy Sue

    Weezie sez:
    It’s over you mean spirited Christians

    Tell us hoew you really feel, Weezie~
    Its been well noted by me, dearheart. How’s GiGi? 😕

    • Oct 4 2011

      Another thing-
      How do you know what we do not do for our community? For the kids in our lives? Hmmm? Oh, definately the Anthonys have done more for the children…especially Caylee…

    • Oct 4 2011

      Gigi is my ever constant child and impish kitten. I actually opened my door and let her explore the deck once again. She did not jump down because she still has some fear about her experiences, I think. Anyway, as much as I was distressed, she managed to feed herself and get water for 10 whole days, having lost direction 8 blocks away. I know this may sound really stupid and it probably is but here goes: She will get out by accident, only because of our coming and going routines. I would rather her rescent the property so she knows where she lives. uh, did I say that? She is crying and crying, because she loves the outdoors but is a real sap for a lot of affection. I have to trust she knows best, and I will at the same time take caution. The front door is not getting opened for her carte blanche exit.

      Now my friend, I will never let the Anthony’s get in the way of our internet connection. I will have my own opinion having thought you were way more Christian than I, but maybe I got it all wrong.?????

      • Oct 4 2011

        You accused me and Kim and puggy sue of being mean spirited christians (christian bashing is so vogue)-now that is being mean spirited. Can we not have an opinion? I don’t believe anyone insulted you for yours even though some of us don’t get it how you and Andrea think concerning your definitions of love and justice!

      • Oct 4 2011

        Let me leave others out of it-I don’t get it how injustice and lying is considered an act of love. God is love-does He know about this? He is perfect Love Who metes out perfect Justice.

        Not lying for your kid and sticking up for the least among us is love-no one said parenting was easy. The Anthonys actions do deserve scorn, imo. And I have no problem about it being a Christian. The Anthonys claim to be Christians so I believe it all the more that they should be scorned for their awful actions of lying and perverting justice until they repent-that is biblical. God makes no exceptions like, “except if you are lying for your child”. No, they aren’t perfect but they have the Spirit of God to help them in times of temptations. A true Christian does not make a practice of lying. If they do lie they confess it and ask forgiveness.

      • Oct 6 2011

        Sherry I hear your thoughts, and, if you think it was a personal slap to you or God, it certainly wasn’t. You know that I would never want you to be angry with my opinion. I think it’s just too much efforts on the late, very late Casey Anthony and my exhaustion on the subject got the better of me and I guess I tred on your toes far too deeply. I am very sorry if you were hurt or made to rise to anger about “the right way to behave”. I am not a parent but I just can’t imagine how I would abandon my child for wrongdoing, but I guess this issue is a continuous debate. The fact I am not a Mother may sway my opinion more than I know. I believe in honesty, truth, and owning up to your misgivings and bad behaviour. I really don’t know how I would handle what happened in that family. I just don’t know.

  14. Oct 7 2011

    Weezie, i did take offense but all is forgiven, my friend.

    Check out Weezie’s cat!



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