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December 12, 2011

2

drop an assumption, whack #8

by Andrea O'Connell

I have a total of 64 more Creative Whacks to post.  At this rate, it will be 2064 until I finish!

So, here’s another one. It’s a good one, too.

Creative Whack number 9 is:  drop an assumption.

There is a great deal of wisdom in this card.  I know I am guilty of making quick assumptions, though I try not to, it’s inevitable that I do.

My assumptions drive me crazy and usually involve me second-guessing myself.  It has a lot to do with self-confidence.  I don’t have issues with those big assumptions that result in generalizations.  Fortunately I am open-minded enough to not allow that to happen.

I make stupid assumptions that have to do (usually) with relationships.  When I was younger it was a big struggle.  I had this inner dialog going on that was a marathon of back and forth quarreling with myself.   It would go something like this:

Positive realization:  I haven’t talked to John in so long.  I should call him.

Negative assumption:  Well, he hasn’t called me.  What if he’s too busy to talk to me?  Or maybe he really would rather not talk to me?  I’d be embarrassed if I disturbed him. Maybe he’d think I’m needy?  Or, maybe he has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about and maybe he thinks I’m trying to come-on to him?  That would really be embarrassing.

Positive realization:  No no no no no Andrea!  That’s crazy.

Negative assumption:  We had a nice date, but what if he doesn’t think of me as a possible girlfriend?  He’s a great guy, too.  He wouldn’t be interested in me.  And, who knows if I’m really interested in him?  Was he being himself on our date?  Was he being distant?  What if we get serious?  I couldn’t take it if he dropped me. Maybe he’s trying to tell me something by his silence and not calling?  Should I wait until he calls me?

Positive realization:  Oh God, you dumb-ass, Andrea!  Call him!  Give him a call – if he’s busy he’ll tell you he is and then you can decide on a time to get together, or a time to talk on the phone!

Negative assumption:  It would be easier to leave him a voice mail.  Shit!  I wish I could just text him, that’s so much easier than talking in situations like this!  Maybe I could call him, and if he answers I could pretend that I dialed him by mistake – tell him I was really calling Jane and got his number mixed up, but it’s nice to talk to him!  And, if he doesn’t answer, I could leave a message…..

And on and on and on… I would go back and forth.

I still quarrel with myself, but not nearly as badly as I used to.  Thankfully.

Assumptions are terribly limiting.  The best thing we can do is test the validity of every assumption we make.  I try to.

Would the photo below qualify as an assumption?

Maybe. Maybe not.  I think it’s close enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just a reminder that the brilliant Creative Whack cards are by Roger von Oech.   The  Creative Whack Pack is a 64 card deck of inspirational ways to encourage creative thinking.

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2 Comments Post a comment
  1. Dec 13 2011

    Excellent post, Andrea! The picture of the gay men next to the starving children was powerful. I may have to invest in the Whack Pack, I don’t think I can wait until 2064 🙂

    Reply
  2. Dec 13 2011

    I’d say if either one offends the sensibilities instead of both than the moral compass needs adjusting. It doesn’t always have to be an either/or choice. But then one makes the assumption that one is bigotted when the homosexual issue upsets the one’s sensibilities instead of seeing that one’s love for the homosexual and his/her spiritual/physical well-being being of tantamount importance.

    Assumptions fly all over the place when dealing with these issues-by government or by personal charity? Or both?

    Reply

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